I believe the most important things in life are those without a price tag on them. Could you put a price tag on a moment that you cherish? Maybe if our “priceless” moments could be bought, would they be as important to us? In our society today, we stereotype people on a regular basis, mainly on what extravagant items they own. Now as gas prices hit sky rocketing marks, and our economy has took a turn for the worse, do we need the most “in” thing to be accepted by society?
Our car pulls into the parking lot right in front of the Ashworth by the Sea Hotel where a valet comes out to greet us. Long last, we are here at
Every summer we usually go to the beach and the weatherman had predicted this week to reach between 90 to 95 degrees with constant sun. This vacation is really special as it is my 13th birthday on Tuesday. My family is taking me out for a birthday dinner at Browns Lobster House. Once we dine on lobster we are planning to go the local ice cream shop where I will indulge in a large vanilla soft serve cone covered in chocolate sprinkles.
The balance of the week I will spend at the beach where I’m working on my tan and playing in the water. My brothers and I built a large sand castle only to see it wash away as the tide came in later that day. In the early morning, I collected a few sea shells which washed upon the shore during the night. It was so great to feel the morning breeze and the sand through my toes as we walked along the shore, but by
On the last day of our trip, we saw fireworks which lit up the sky as we sat on the beach for the final evening of our vacation. It was really great to relax and spend time with my family. There were no video games or television this week, just quality time with my brothers and my parents. It was a very memorable trip and cannot wait for next year and our return trip back to make new memories.
I head down the stairs, pass through the kitchen, through the garage, and away I go. I jump on my new 5-speed bike, but not before I put on the metallic gold helmet, a present from my grandmother. The helmet shines in the sun as the rays of sun reflect upon it, as I fly down the hill going faster than the cars.
The bike was designed for quick speed with its sleek design, and wide tires for riding through any type of terrain. Many people comment on the lavender color of my bike and how beautiful it is. I polish it up about every month during the spring and summer. I even wipe down the tires with a special polish that keeps the wheels clean and shiny.
Exercise today is so important and my bike provides this. My leg muscles have gotten much stronger and it helps to work off those extra calories. Sometimes getting up the hill can be tough, but it provides great satisfaction when I reach the top.
The freedom a bike gives me is great! I am able to get around, do things, and see things. I love not having to ask for a ride everywhere I want to go. Sometimes just cruising up to The Commons and doing a little shopping is a real treat. Once I rode down to McCray’s Farm and treated myself to some ice cream on a hot summer day. I find myself lying in bed at night planning my next venture. The one drawback I have in riding my back year-round is during the periods we have snow or icy weather. It dampens my spirit when I have to stay inside and wait for the good weather to return. This is one of my more costly items and I try to keep it in the best condition I can.
Looking at my financial and priceless moments, I realize that both of my items mean a lot to me. Both my trip to the beach as well as my bike give me a great deal of enjoyment. Whether it is enjoying a vacation or my next trip out with my bike, they give me a lot of pleasure and relaxation. I look forward to both and cherish the memories they have provided to me.
I realize that each cost money to enjoy. If I had to make a choice, I would probably give up my bike before a family trip to the beach. The moments that my trip gives me I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world. I realized after writing this essay, I found the real “value” of an item is the value that pertains to you.
3 comments:
I think that Jenny gets the concept of what is valuable and what is priceless. She knows what she thinks and is sticking to it. I think Jenny knows what she values and is very confident with it.
I think that when Jenny described her bike had the best visual descriptions. I could see her riding up and down the hills, going to The Commons to shop around, riding to McCray’s for ice cream, and sitting inside on a snowy day glaring outside at the road wishing it was summer again. I think that she did a really good job.
I think that overall she had really good organization and word choice. She knew what she wanted the reader to get out of her essay and used good word choice to make sure we understood and saw what she wanted us to see. I think that there was no better way to organize this writing better than she did.
Next time, I would try to make your writing more fluent. Make it sound less choppy by continuing the previous thought into the next. But overall you did a really good job.
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In Jenny's essay, she is confident in her opinion of priced and priceless. She personally thinks that priceless moments are more valuable than priced items. She questions if priceless items could be sold, and soon valued more than priced items. She also proposes the idea that richer people might think that priceless items could have a price tag.
I thought Jenny's description of her trip to hampton beach was very descriptive and well written. The description of the beach, what she saw/ate/and felt helped me picture actually being there. My favorite part was when she descried her week at the beach, refrencing specific activitie. I liked the lines, "I collected a few sea shells which washed upon the shore during the night," and, "feel the morning breeze and the sand through my toes as we walked along the shore."
I think one of the essays strengths is how her description of events shows us how much she values these moments. She includes a lot of what she does at the beach, and descriptions of how she feels/what she sees. When she describes her bike, she mentions all that she does with it, and how she keeps it in good condition.
A suggestion for Jenny would be to make sure that her descriptions are in present tense. This makes the writing more effective, and is on the rubric. Also, watch for run on sentences and choppy phrases. By editing your essay for these possible errors, your essay will be improved. Overall, i loved this essay and you did a great job! I <3 you jenny!
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